Find a Great Date that can Last a Lifetime
Let's get to it. Where do you need to go, physically or cyberly, to find love? What sites, bars, events, etcetera will help you find a date online and off?
Free dating sites
Let's start with sites. Online dating is a wild place. We've all heard stories (he said he was never married, that she was 23, that he had no criminal record, that she used to be a senator) about people misprepresenting themselves online. In some cases it's merely annoying. In others, it is downright dangerous.
For this reason I strongly feel that free sites should be used with caution. I'm talking Myspace or Facebook here. Craigslist doesn't even merit a chance. It's great for job hunting and selling your old sweaters, but never can I recommend it to find a date online. Any anonymous perv or predator can post there. Here is a REAL headline to show some of the types lurking there: "Please Let Me Drink Your..". Not everyone on Craigs is creepy - most probably aren't - but I don't recommend hanging out in a club that attracts that sort. Even this promise seems creepy: "I provide a wonderful experience."
The reason I'm leery of FB and Myspace is because of statistics, not prejudice. There have simply been too many horror stories to make me comfortable with it. The only way to really know that the person you connected with is indeed the one in the pictures is through your mutual friends. Well, if you have mutual friends, then you should contact them first. In other words, you have arrived at the best way to meet and find a date- an introduction! More later.
Pay dating sites with free trials
Then there are pay sites. I would really start with these, because, simply, the people on there are serious. They have invested time and money to meet someone. They have filled out a detailed questionaire, have spent the time really working through what they are looking for. I especially recommend sites such as Perfect Match or Singles Net for their more intense questions and the need for thought and care in writing a profile. Match Maker is also great, catering to the 35 and up crowd that tends towards being more serious. Use caution with sites that don't require too much to create a profile. For more options on finding a date online, see the home page.
Find a Date Through a Friend
I believe in the power of an introduction. I also hate blind dates, but I found my wife through a triple blind - the woman who knew me knew someone who knew someone else who knew the girl. So you never know. Scientifically, having a person who knows you well set you up is a good idea. I almost never turned down a date, and sometimes got quite far with them.
Another advantage of a middle person is that they won't always give you what you ask for. Yes, that's a good thing. We don't always know for ourselves what sort of person we will connect with. I am willing to guess that most successful matches are a surprise to at least one of the people. Others see us more objectively, period. They can use that insight to make suggestions we would never imagine. I say go with it, keep an open mind. Never say to yourself, "well I always wanted a tall guy/artistic/athletic etc so I have to reject this average/clutzy sweetheart because he's average and clutzy." Well, you can say that if you want to remain single for a long time.
Trust me. Been there, done that. Boy am I learning a lot!
Get Out to Events
Then, there are always events that bring like-minded people together. Try a religious retreat if that speaks to you, a sports club, joining community theatre, whatever. Get out and circulate, even if the people there aren't for you. They may certainly know someone. Networking is the best way to meet.
So go for it. Try the better online sites such as Perfect Match or Singles Net to find a date online, go meet friends and ask them if they know somebody, and join up with like-minded people for social/creative/other networking opportunities.
